From etiquette conundrums to doable décor, Jennifer Thye of Imoni Events answers your questions. 

Q:  The gift registry: to include or not to include on the invitation? We’ve asked friends and family and the responses range from ‘yes, definitely’ to ‘no way, it’s tacky’. What do you suggest?

A.  I get this question all the time and the answer is simple: do not put the gift registry information in the formal invitation. Period. 

People will want to know where you are registered, but there are other ways to go about this. One, you can put it on your shower invites. Since most people will be invited to a shower, they will know where you are registered. Second, it is appropriate to put your registry on your wedding website. Your web address can be included on your save-the-date cards, or as an insert in the wedding invitation. If none of those scenarios work, then you can simply go back to old etiquette and have family and friends spread the word; this is much more appropriate, and believe me, the gifts will come!

Q: My best friend is getting married soon and has asked me to be the maid of honor. I know the title comes with some responsibilities, but what are they? I don’t have the budget to throw her an engagement party, bridal shower, AND a bachelorette party- not to mention I live in another state! What should I do?

Being maid of honor in someone's wedding is a true honor - however, I understand your hesitation when it comes to throwing all these pricey parties. Budget can be a real concern and etiquette doesn't always account for the sensitively of such an issue. 

Don’t get caught up in all the things you feel pressured to do; if you feel like you ‘have’ to do something, then it will certainly not look like you ‘want’ to do it. Since you do live out of state, look to the other girls in the wedding party that live near the bride to share in some of the responsibilities, like the bachelorette party. They will most likely be familiar with the local hot spots and really enjoy their part in planning a ladies’ night out.

As for the bridal shower, I am afraid this just comes with the territory. I know some bridal parties split the cost of this. However, I would suggestion caution in how you approach this issue. If you would like the other girls to help out, I suggest asking them to bring something to the shower that you need, versus asking for a specific amount of money. Try asking for them to each bring a side dish or a prize for the shower games. This way you can concentrate your funds on the main food and drink items, the games, and the décor.

The engagement party is usually thrown by family members, so you do not have to worry about that one.  Save your pennies for the many flights you will take to attend all these fun celebrations!
 
Q: What details can I expect a wedding planner to take care of, and what will be expected of me?
 
Wow. This is a loaded question. Most wedding planning companies offer a number of packages. The most common are ‘day of’ packages and full-service packages.

Full-service packages are mostly self-explanatory: you hire someone to be your ally throughout the entire planning process. You want an expert to be involved in every detail and aspect of the wedding - this does not mean that you do not get to dictate what you want for your big day; it just means that you have someone helping you pull off all your big dreams. Most brides LOVE having this kind of luxury while they are planning because the stress and financial burden of such a large event is just lifted off their shoulders - I even had a bride kid me that she shouldn't have hired me because she didn't loose any of her stress weight! 

Harder to explain is the ‘day of’ package. It is often like comparing apples to oranges here since every planner will be a little different. With a ‘day of’ package, you will most likely handle all the planning; you are just hiring someone to execute what you have planned. You may be responsible for negotiating all your contracts, and you should have a general idea of your timeline and the expectations you have for that planner.  Then they will organize your materials and come up with a plan to execute your wedding day. They should be the ones that contact all your vendors with this plan, then run your rehearsal and wedding day.  

Outside of the two basic packages, wedding planners often offer a variety of customized services. Make sure to get everything in writing so you know exactly what they are handling and what you are handling. This way there are no questions when all said and done. You’ll just have a beautiful, stress-free experience!

Imoni Events is a full-service wedding and event-planning firm. With meticulous attention to detail and sophisticated style, Imoni events are creative, fresh, and always customized to clients’ personal style and story.

If you have a question you’d like Jennifer to address, please contact the editor. Messages become the property of Let’s Party LLC, and may be edited, published, or otherwise used in any forms of its media.